20/12

Let's take some deep breaths, the type that made us lightheaded.
How we used to do out on your deck on those sunny autumn mornings. When you'd look at me with that sparkle in your eye, that hope, that promise of something past tomorrow.
When you'd speak with such passion about everything you loved in the world, about all the things you wanted to help fix. You'd rest your hand on my knee, but I could see that fear, kid. I knew you were afraid. That I'd push it away, that I'd push you away. I'd smile, and you'd smile back. You told me one cold night of a favourite quote of yours; "I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful", but babe, I've never seen one quite as bright as yours.

something is not right.
something is wrong.
everything's slightly out of wack.
everyone's slightly out of wack.

i have quite a lot of anxiety about how people i like percieve me
as soon as i stop talking to a person at the end of a day i'll find faults in the way i acted, and in the things i said and manage to convince myself that they can't possibly still like me.
i then think about what i'm doing and i tell myself i'm being stupid, but i still can't shake the feeling.